Divorce is a traumatic event that no one enjoys experiencing. As a life stressor, divorce ranks number two, and martial separation ranks number three on the well-known Holmes and Rahe (1967) stress scale. Only death of a spouse ranks higher.
Because the process of divorce is such a stressful transition time, you need to be aware of the effects it can have on your emotional and physical functioning. Marital separation is the most powerful predictor of emotional and physical illness. When you compare divorced adults to married adults, the health news is generally not good.
Divorced adults are:
· More susceptible to emotional and psychological problems
· More likely to experience early death from a number of causes. For example, the death rate related to pneumonia is seven times higher among divorced versus married men.
· Four times more likely to commit suicide if they are white and male
· More likely to experience early health problems (especially men)
· Ten times more likely to utilize inpatient or outpatient psychiatric services if they are male, and five times more likely if they are female
So what do all these less than cheery statistics tell us? Pay attention to your physical and mental health if you are involved in a marital separation or divorce. You may want to join a support group or see a counselor to help you manage stress. Know the dangers to your physical and emotional functioning so you can prevent yourself from becoming one of the statistics. It is possible to come through the divorce process with a clearer sense of self and deeper reliance on God.
Divorce is a transitional crisis that needs to be managed. It interrupts your family life cycle and often throws family members into chaos and turmoil for a period of time, usually up to three years. Emotional upheaval comes and goes. The challenge is finding a way to reorganize a disrupted family system. Key issues emerge depending on the phase of family development at which the divorce occurs (married, no children, preschool children, high school children, empty nesters, etc.).
Just because divorce is common, don’t downplay the tremendous stress involved. This is a time to pay attention to your physical body and take inventory on how well you are coping with the stress involved. Don’t be afraid to talk with others and get professional help.
Statistics taken from Brian Willats’ Breaking up is easy to do, available from the Michigan Family Forum.