Bulimia: Shame the Silencer

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When you are bulimic you can also suffer from depression, anxiety, substance abuse and other psychological problems. You might be an episodic drinker–not drink for periods of time and then go on drinking binges. Psychologically, drinking binges are similar to food binges. Alcohol and drug binges are more ways to numb the body from feeling loss or pain.

Dieting can start the course of bulimia. If you are overweight or have overweight family members, you may be teased about weight. Losing weight, you think, is a way to stop this teasing. Or you may be anorexic and need to gain weight. Once you allow yourself to eat, you may feel out of control and start to binge.

But issues around dieting are not the single cause of bulimia. Like anorexia, food is the abused substance. There is an internal struggle with self-image and external relationship problems.

Bulimia usually begins later in adolescence than anorexia. It’s also not uncommon to see women in their 20s and 30s fight the disorder. The reason for this is that bulimia typically develops when identity is firming up and independence increases. These are tough development transitions for some people.  It’s not easy to figure out who you are or what you want to do with your life. In addition, the culture gives confusing messages when it comes to feminine and masculine roles.

Furthermore, family problems may complicate the emotional process of leaving home. And certain personal characteristics such as perfectionism, low self-esteem and mood swings can complicate development.

There is no one “bulimic” personality. But if you have bulimia you tend to feel inadequate, lonely, helpless, impulsive and moody. Low self-esteem is coupled with very high self-expectations that you or others place on yourself. You may have trouble saying no to demands and want to please others. Saying “no” to rigid demands might mean a loss of acceptance or even love.

The worse thing you can do is hide your pain.  It takes courage to walk into a counselor’s office and say, “I need help. This disorder is running my life and I want to stop this constant bingeing and purging.” Be honest about your symptoms. Let someone help you. You don’t have to live your life thinking about the next binge or where you will vomit after the next meal.

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