Have you ever just watched people while waiting for a table or standing in-line to purchase something? Their nonverbal communication tells a story. Just by observing, you can tell if they like each other, especially when you watch a group of people.
The turn of the body
Let’s say you are mingling with a group of co-workers around the coffee pot. Four of you are talking about a Netflix show everyone watched. You notice that one of the men is talking to another woman but has his feet and chest turned toward you.
According to researchers who study these types of nonverbal body behaviors, this indicates he has an attraction to you. So even though his head is turned to the woman he is talking to, his body is telling a different story.
“Body orientation” as the researchers call it, means something even in mundane conversations. So pay attention! If the upper body is turned in your direction, it could be a good sign the person likes you.
Leaning in
Now what if the person is talking to you and leaning forward? What does that signal? Friendliness! A more negative stance is when the person leans backward. So move over Brene Brown, leaning in can literally be a physical thing!
Armed and dangerous
OK, here is another one. The woman talking to you has an open-armed position. In other words, she is using her hands and arms expressively during the conversation. Good sign, right? Yes, but not a good sign if her arms are crossed when she speaks to you. That indicates dislike or a lack of attraction.
Mirror, mirror
So as you continue to chat up your coffee klatch, pay attention to another nonverbal sign. Is the other person matching your movements? We call this mirroring, a type of mimicking another person’s movement and gestures. People who are in love do this all the time. They develop a physiological rhythm with their partner.
But back to our coffee time. You pour your cup and take a sip. That attractive guy next to you does the same. Then you fluff your hair. He puts his fingers through his hair. Something is happening here that could indicate attraction or a desire to connect with you. He is mirroring your actions. And all the while this mimicking is happening, he is smiling. Additionally, if he touches his face while you’re chatting, that’s also a sign of attraction.
Smile but mean it
But wait, what about that smile? Is it real or just a forced effort just to be nice? Ah, there is a way to tell the difference. Psychologist Paul Ekman tells us that if the smile is real, not fake, the eyes narrow and create lines–aka crow’s feet, at their outer corners.
As you continue to watch his face, you notice he is blinking his eyes rapidly and his cheeks are blushing. Good sign. So you toss your head (another reciprocal sign of liking). Not surprisingly, he asks you if you have dinner plans. All that nonverbal communication led to an invitation to spend more time together. Which may lead to…who knows where?
So next time you try to decide if someone likes you, you won’t have to wonder? Check out the body language for a series of clues!
