Dr. Linda Mintle

Tag: work

  • Addicted to Work?

    If you work to avoid negative emotional states such as anxiety and depression, perhaps work has taken on an addictive quality.

    In a state of frustration, Rachel recounted her life. “It’s like I married my alcoholic father. Not a day goes by in which my husband spends less than 12 hours on some assignment related to work. When we vacation, he says he wants to rest but I always find him secretly working on his lap top. At night, he steals away to the quiet of his at-home office until wee hours of the morning. After a few hours of sleep, he’s up and traveling to the real office job. I don’t see him until 8:00 pm. By then the kids are in bed. He grabs a bite to eat and the cycle starts all over again. There is something terribly wrong here. Can a person be addicted to work?”

    In the same way a drug addict uses pot or an alcoholic downs booze, work can have an anesthetizing effect on negative emotions. Yes, people do use work to escape and avoid unpleasant emotional states. But because hard work is so sanctioned in our society, it is an addiction often minimized. But the fall out for the family can be just as devastating.

    Our once sacred days of rest have vanished as malls and superstores stay open during Shabbot and Sundays. Technology invades our home life. Solicitors assault us during the dinner hour. And the boundary between work and home is blurred by pagers, faxes, cell phones and computers. This instant communiqué turns our play to work and our home fronts to alternate work sites.

    Workaholism is real. But how do you know if you are simply a hard worker or a workaholic? Ask yourself these questions:

    · Do you view work as a haven rather than a necessity or obligation?

    · Does work obliterate all other areas of your life?

    · Can you make the transition from the office to the Little League game without guilt and constant thinking of what you        need to do?

    · Do you have work scattered all over your home?

    · Do you regularly break commitments to family and friends because of deadlines and work commitments?

    · Do you get an adrenaline rush from meeting impossible deadlines?

    · Are you preoccupied with work no matter what you do?

    · Do you work long after your co-workers are finished?

    If your answers are “Yes” to most of these questions, it’s time to reevaluate your love for work and cut back. Workaholism can bring emotional estrangement and withdrawal in your relationships. In the worse case, it can even lead to separation and divorce.

    Children of workaholics learn they are valued for their achievements and often lack parent attention. They have high levels of depression and tend to take on parenting roles similar to those in alcoholic homes.

    If you think you may be a workaholic, acknowledge the problem. Then, begin making small changes that limit work hours. Pay attention to other parts of life like your family, spirituality, play, friends, etc. Vow to spend more time doing other things and do them. Talk to your family about balance and determine ways to be more involved. Turn off electronics when you come home and be unavailable for certain hours of the day. Leave the office at a reasonable time even if your work isn’t perfect or completely finished.

    Don’t downplay the negative effects workaholism plays in your life. Even though you may be rewarded at the work place for your obsessive efforts, your family needs you, not more work. And as the well-known saying goes, “I’ve never met a dying person who regretted not spending more time at the office!”

  • Desk Rage

    The work environment is now a place of unleashed rage for too many Americans. Yelling and verbal abuse can be heard down the hallways of various companies and industries. The response to that behavior is something the media has dubbed, “desk rage”. That’s right, you’ve heard of road rage, even air rage, now we have to contend with hostility and violence in the workplace called desk rage.

    From a psychological perspective, desk rage is simply rudeness, hostility, physical violence and aggression found in the workplace. A National Crime Victimization Survey (2000) found that Americans experienced approximately 2 million threats of violence and assaults at their workplace. Of that number, 1.5. million were simple assaults. And another study out of the University of North Carolina documented that at least half of the workers interviewed worried about rude and hostile behavior directed at them. This worry affected their work-related productiveness as well. Overall, revenue related to lost productivity, increased security, insurance related payment, and other expenses is estimated to cost employers between 6.4  and 36 billion dollars.

    What’s going on that so many Americans are going postal? It appears that desk rage is triggered by stress–boredom, anxiety, lack of control, demands of the job, overcrowding, noise, etc. And while employers are now trying to deal with the problem by finding solutions that decrease stress, such as more than flexible work hours or improved benefits, more is needed.  People have to learn anger management, ways to assert themselves positively and constructive ways to handle their negative emotions. In a nutshell, people need stress management. Here are ten tips taken from my Breaking Free from Stress booklet:

    1. Be ready and accepting of change. Change is inevitable in today’s work environment. Adjust your expectations. Be ready for it instead of resisting it.
    2. Don’t panic if you are laid off. With corporate downsizing, global market changes, outsourcing, etc. people lose their jobs even when they do well at their jobs. God has to be your ultimate source of provision.
    3. Get a quality education and explore fields that are growing such as technology and health. Skill development helps make you more marketable.
    4. Be a good steward of your finances. Don’t spend beyond your means or rack of credit card debt. Put money away for a difficult time.
    5. Maximize your work time. Be clear on what is expected so you know how you will be evaluated. Minimize distractions.
    6. Have integrity on the job. Do not compromise your beliefs and line up your behavior according to biblical directives. Anger management is biblical. Read what the Bible has to say about properly dealing with anger.
    7. Know what you can’t change and accept it.
    8. Be balanced. Have a life after work that involves relaxation, family, friends and a vibrant spiritual walk.
    9. Keep your humor. It relieves stress.
    10. Don’t easily take offense and offer forgiveness even when it isn’t requested.

    People in the workplace won’t always behave nicely or properly. You be the model of Christ. Your influence could make a difference. And if you need additional help, I suggest you pick up a copy of Breaking Free from Anger and Unforgiveness. Stress will never disappear but our reaction to it can be godly. Wouldn’t it be great if our stressed out co-workers came to us and said, “Hey, you are in the middle of all this craziness too. How do you manage it?” What an opportunity to talk about the peace of God, the fruit of the spirit and forgiveness.