Healing is usually a process that involves several stages.
Dr Linda Helps – Rape is a horrible act of violence against another human being. Someone who has been attacked and violated this way usually suffers severe anxiety and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Acute symptoms of PTSD—nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts of the trauma, feelings of detachment, sleeplessness, hypervigilance, anger, concentration problems, and more—occur in 46% of women who are raped and 65% of men (Networker, July/August 1996).
It is not uncommon for a rape victim to be afraid to be alone, have panic attacks, be emotionally reactive, withdraw from others, be afraid to trust, have sexual difficulties, and become depressed or highly fearful. But healing is possible.
Healing is usually a process that involves several stages. First the rape victim must deal with the shock of the event. Usually there is disbelief, fear and anxiety. Victims often wonder if they should report the abuse and are fearful this violation could happen again. If the rapist is still at large, fear about safety is even more intensified. Many also replay the event thinking they could have somehow stopped it. This is a lie.
Once rape is reported, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by all the medical and legal questions asked. These questions raise feelings of embarrassment, confusion, helplessness and shame. It is helpful to work with a counselor who can sort out these feelings and support you through this overwhelming time.
The next stage usually involves denial and efforts to push the trauma out of the mind. Victims want their lives to return to “normal” and feel in control of life again. But the reality of the trauma must be confronted for healing to occur.
When the person is ready, the rape must be confronted. Counseling and support groups help tremendously during this time because confronting the reality of rape is a painful experience. It usually intensifies symptoms. This can be frightening if you don’t know how to manage the symptoms or believe you can be free from the symptoms managing you.
In addition, rape victims struggle with guilt and anger and need guidance from someone qualified to work with trauma. Women who get medical, psychological and spiritual help usually do better than women who try to cope alone.
The final stage is when the person has grappled with all aspects of the rape and begins to move on with life. The harsh reality of the event no longer dominates the person’s life. He/she has worked through forgiveness of the rapist and understands the violation does not define who he/she is. Safety issues have been addressed and the person begins to reorganize his/her life.
The healing process is different for everyone based on the unique aspects of each case. If you were raped and had other psychological issues, the rape can intensify those problems as well. If you keep the rape a secret, symptoms will surface later in your life. Healing is possible with God who promises to restore what was taken. Move through the process and reclaim your life.