Dr. Linda Mintle

Author: Dr. Linda

  • Men Who Do Housework Have Happier Marriages!

    Feel like doing some spring cleaning? Well, rev up the vacuum cleaner. Pull out the dust cloth and get to work men. You might be surprised to learn that all that dusting and vacuuming have marital benefits. According to marital researcher, John Gottman, you will have a happier, less lonely and more involved marriage than men who don’t help around the house. Yes, you read that correctly. Men who do housework can claim a host of marital benefits.

    Housewives all over America are applauding this finding. Finally, research that makes sense! Does it sound too good to be true?

    Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington studied men who did housework and child care. He discovered that men who do housework are not only happier in their marriages, but also have lower heart rates, better sex lives and better health. And the men who pitched in with household chores were less stressed and physically healthier in the four years following the initial research meeting. Do I hear an “Amen” to this conclusion?

    Now I wish I could stop here and let you think that housework has curative powers– that doing housework is the key to fabulous relationships. This certainly would liberate a lot of women and encourage men to share in the exciting work of mopping floors and cleaning showers, but it isn’t housework that cures troubled marriages.

    Even though doing housework was tested as a separate factor in the marital study, housework wasn’t the issue. It turns out that husbands who do housework tend to be mutual and supportive partners. And spouses who act in mutual and supportive ways have satisfying marriages with good sex lives.

    So the take away from this study is this: Engage in mutual and supportive acts with your spouse. According to women, one of those mutual and supportive acts appears to be housework. Women like it when men pitch in to help. You might even say that a man who does housework puts his wife in the mood to celebrate later!

    Men, the next time you see your wives struggle to keep up with all the housework, turn off that basketball game, pull out that toilet bowl cleaner, pat yourselves on the back and say, “I’ll be less lonely, less stressed and less likely to be sick if I scrub this commode.” Your wives will give you a big smile and say, “Now there’s the man I’m glad I married!”

    Do you or your spouse show support and mutual respect by helping with housework?

    Check out Dr. Linda Mintle’s book on marriage, I Married You, Not Your Family (Siloam Press, 2008). Also available in Spanish, Me Case Contigo, No Con Tu Familia.

    ~ Dr. Linda

  • Counteracting Lady GaGa’s Influence


    My 16-year-old daughter called me to the computer last night to watch something she saw online. It was Lady GaGa’s new nine and a half minute music video, “Telephone”, with Beyonce. The video skyrocketed to No. 1 on Billboard. My daughter was so disturbed by the video that she needed to talk about it. She couldn’t understand how Lady GaGa was allowed to prance around almost completely naked and be so disgusting. I watched the video. It was porn. I was shocked at the nudity and raunchiness, and am glad that my daughter was too! In a culture with high rates of pornography addiction, violence, eating disorders, depression, and anxiety, these videos only contribute to those problems. 

     

    It is getting increasingly more difficult to shield our teens from the onslaught of pornography and violence that characterize many music videos. The popularity of artists like Lady GaGa is mainstream. Just go into your youth group, ask the kids who sings “Poker Face” or “Just Dance”. They know and can sing you the lyrics. (I’ve done this exercise at many youth groups.)

     

    Youth groups need to address this trend of nudity, violence, and sexual objectification that is becoming the norm of teen viewing. Parents can’t fight this battle alone. We need the church to wake up to the onslaught of images that are assaulting our kids and desensitizing them to the things of God. Together, we must address how pop culture influences our teens. The conversation must be on-going and relevant. 


    Parents, get online and take a look at the top 10 music videos. Spend a few hours watching MTV.  Listen to lyrics of songs on iTunes and watch the movies your kids are renting. It will drive you to intercession and wake you up to the spiritual battle our teens face. Start discussing media in your family and talk about the impact of passively viewing sexual and violent media. Work with your teens to make godly choices and to resist temptation. And if you are struggling yourself, get help!

     

    Ask your youth group leaders to discuss media, lyrics and how much is too much. A number of months ago, I worked with a youth group and dissected the lyrics to Katie Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” song. The teens knew all the words but had not considered the message (same sex experimentation) in terms of how it might influence their thinking and Christian walk. It was a productive conversation. The church needs to work with families in this area and be another voice to reinforce Christian values and help teens question their exposure to certain media.

     

    While the battle seems overwhelming, our best defense is prayer. God is on our side. Pray, talk and be in the lives of your teens. They need all the help they can get.

     

    Are you and/or your teen’s youth group discussing pop culture, especially music?

    ~ Dr. Linda

  • Dr. Linda, Monthly Columnist For ParentLife

    ParentLife offers help, information, and advice in all the areas where you seek godly guidance for your children: health, education, discipline, safety, nutrition, and spiritual development. Each issue gives parents practical ideas, wisdom, and insights to help you meet the responsibilities and celebrate the joys of parenting.

    Learn more about ParentLife on their website here: http://www.lifeway.com/article/?id=169746&CID=RDR-ParentLife

    Dr. Linda’s book “Raising Healthy Kids In An Unhealthy World” expands on her monthly column. Check it out in Dr. Linda’s bookstore.

  • Is Your Family SAD?

    Feeling down and blue? Has the gloom of winter gotten you? The sky is cloudy and dark. You feel tired, unable to concentrate, want to eat, crave carbohydrates, and feel like being alone. It’s hard to get out of bed. You feel irritable, anxious and down. It seems like winter will never end. All you can think about is sitting in the sun somewhere in the Caribbean. Actually this is not such a crazy thought. You, like 35 million Americans, may be affected by winter depression. The “winter blues” has a name, “Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)”. It usually begins mid October and ends around April. It’s real and treatable and affects family members. 
     
    Most sufferers of SAD are women in their 30’s (although the disorder affects others including children). SAD is a form of depression that follows a seasonal pattern. The farther north you live, the greater your chance to be one of 10 million diagnosed or 25 million suffering some symptoms of SAD. Why? Because during winter, people in the Northern states get half as much sunshine as those in the South. People with SAD need more light. During late fall and winter, days shorten which means less sunlight. In some cases less daylight can activate depression. So what can you do to stop being an irritable or depressed family member? Move to Florida? You could but there is a cheaper and easier solution. 
     
    Treatment for SAD is surprisingly simple. Get more light. The theory here is that light therapy regulates brain chemistry. When light interacts with the eye through the optic nerve, things happen to affect mood. In very simple terms, light  increases brain chemicals that help depression.                   
     
    Some people are helped more by using intense light in the mornings, while others respond to increased light anytime of the day. There are commercial lighting devices and florescent light boxes. Some insurers will even reimburse you for the light devices. Or you can try 30 minutes of morning light by walking outside, sitting under a fluorescent light while watching TV, reading, etc. However, you shouldn’t  stare into a light source. You’ll only get a headache! Just do a normal activity with the light in your field of vision.
     
    You should be careful not to self-diagnose SAD because you may confuse symptoms with other conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. And if you suffer from severe depression you should consult a mental health professional. Light won’t hurt you but it may not help either.                
     
    Isn’t it amazing that a source of God’s creation–light, can improve mood? Remember the Sunday School song, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine?”  Don’t hide it under a bushel like the song exhorts. Let it shine.  Let it shine. Let it shine! 
     
    Do you think there Christians attach a stigma to admitting to depression?

    For more help with depression, check out Dr. Linda’s book, Breaking Free from Depression (Charisma House, 2002)

  • Press Pause Before You Eat

    For all the times you’ve said, “Why did I just eat that?”

    Say good-bye to one of the most overlooked areas of our relationship to food — mindless eating. This groundbreaking book shines new light on why we eat along with practical, proven strategies to control our eating.

    Does your busy schedule translate into eating on the run or skipping meals altogether? Is your life so filled with multitasking and on-the-go consumption that eating becomes a thing to do while doing other things? Dr. Linda knows that all too often such eating becomes a source of guilt and distress.

    The more stressed we feel, the more food becomes a source of gratification and relief — a numbing agent. Dieting treats only symptoms. “Unless people are coached to be intentional about their eating, they will continue to eat mindlessly and be part of the 90 to 95 percent of failed dieters,” writes Dr. Linda. “A new approach is needed — one that addresses the emotional, relational, and spiritual side of our relationship to food.”

    Food is not your enemy; it is something you can once again enjoy! Dr. Linda deals with the root causes of unintentional eating and restores your joy of eating. This is your practical guide to cultivating a healthy awareness of eating that attends to your body, soul, and spirit.

    Purchase your copy on Amazon.com today.