Singles: Naughty or Nice?

Written by

Dr. Linda

Single Living Help

“Hey, compared to the movies, I’m nice!”

Dr Linda Helps – “I was married before so it’s unrealistic to expect me not to have sex.”

“Everyone in the singles group sleeps around.”

“I’m 40 years old and just want to be bad for awhile.”

“I’m so inexperienced, it will be a problem.”

“Surely God doesn’t expect me to go through life without sex.”

“Sexual sin is not unforgivable.”

“God made me sexual. It would be a cruel joke not to act on it.”

“Is it realistic to be a virgin?”

“We did everything but intercourse. I think that’s OK.”

“We had oral sex. That doesn’t count.”

“I know it’s wrong but…”

“If you love someone sex is OK.”

Raise your hand if you identify with any of these comments. They come from Christian singles. OK put your hand down and let’s talk. Many Christian singles (and married people for that matter) have lowered their sexual standards. They have allowed the thinking of the culture to seep into the church and their personal lives. As a result, sin gets redefined.

Don’t compare your sexual behavior to that of Jerry Springer’s guests, soap opera stars, FRIENDS (TV or the real deal), your neighbors or your boss. Because if you do, you‘ll look like an angel.
You need to compare your behavior to the Word of God. What does the Bible say about sex outside of marriage? It says don’t do it. We’ve got standards to uphold regardless of how out of date they may appear.

God didn’t give us these standards to punish us or make us suffer. He created sex and is fully aware of the oneness of union that happens when two people become sexually involved. He knows that the oneness operates best in the context of marriage.

Now I realize staying sexually pure is a tough thing to do in today’s climate. You are bombarded by sexual images and temptations daily. The amount of sexual material that you encounter just living your life gives new meaning to the idea of guarding your thoughts. It is an incredibly difficult task to guard your heart and mind.

So prepare yourself to resist temptation. God wouldn’t ask you to do something and then not equip you to do it. It’s a tough assignment in today’s market to live up to biblical standards, but it’s not impossible.

Comments

4 responses to “Singles: Naughty or Nice?”

May 11, 2010

Robin

I want a partner, a mate, someone to serve God with, someone to pray with and read God’s word with and go to church with and work for God with, someone to share God’s love with, someone to share my blessings with. I’m tired and I’m lonely, but I will not compromise. I am God’s woman first, Jesus is my husband and if I die an old lady with cats, well at least I stayed faithful to my Lord. If that is what men want, well then I guess they will just have to get it, because I don’t want that kind of a man anyway. I don’t just want a man for the sake of having a man, I don’t just want any old relationship just for the sake of not being alone, I want a servant of God, I want something much deeper and more meaningful, I want a prayer warrior, someone to stand against the enemy with me, someone who understands that one can put 1,000 demons to flight, but two can put 10,000 to flight, someone who has a heart for a lost and hurting world, someone who is already one heart and one mind with Christ and wants to unite with another spiritual warrior and become one to stand up and fight for what’s right and true and try to bring health and hope and healing to the lost. That’s the cake, that’s the substance, sex is just the icing, it’s just sugar and water, it’s sweet, but without the cake it’s of no value.

Reply
August 3, 2010

Al

I share the same belief with this wonderful God fearing lady. It’s for the very same reason that motivates me to run a website for christians who would like to date the equally yoked (christians).
God invented marriage, not man! Sex is the fruit of marriage .Marriage comes first !

Prov 18:22 He who finds a wife ,finds a good thing, and obtains favour of the LORD.
Robin, get in touch if you can!God bless.

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March 31, 2011

Frank

First off, I’ll confess that I’m not perfect or anything even remotely close to it. I’m definately no angel.

Now I’ll tell you what I’m also not even remotely close to: A real relationship with ANY woman–Godly or not! Now I’ll tell you what I am: Damned sick and tired of waiting, that’s what!!!!! I’ll only go back as far as turning 18, but that makes 27 miserable years of being on the outside looking in and wondering why some mutt who’s too good-looking for his own good and so stuck on himself that he calls out HIS OWN NAME during sex can have an absolutely beautiful wife that he doesn’t rule out cheating on and has everything I ever aspired to but wasn’t good enough for handed to him on a platter and here I am all alone and wondering if God looks at me like I’m a mistake that He’d rather not deal with. Now, what I am most of all is weary down to my bones of having to uphold a standard of purity with no release for those urges or hope that I’ll ever have a wife to enjoy them with. What I HATE most of all are people who’ll read this and say “sex is all he wants so he isn’t deserving. There’s more to marriage than sex and he needs to grow up and learn that!” Guess what?? I’m 45 years old and quite grown up, thank you very much! And I’ve thoroughly had it with certain people who ask me “if God said ‘singleness is My plan for your life. Will you serve Me all your days and worship and praise Me anyway?’” Where I come from, we call that rubbin’ your nose in it.

And now, my health isn’t so good. So maybe I don’t get to enjoy anyway. And who says god has no sense of humor . . .

Reply
1. April 1, 2011
  
  Dr. Linda
  
  I get it. When you don’t want to be single, you don’t want to be single. I don’t have an easy answer but there is hope that you will meet someone yet. I have one friend who got married at your age and another at 60. Both are in wonderful relationships so even though it feels like forever, there is still hope for that person to come along. One of my reactions to your note is to ask, What’s the alternative? You could do what you want and forget about God. Would that make you happy and satisfied? Doesn’t sound like going out and being with someone for the sake of being with someone brings a great deal of fulfillment either. God can handle your anger. He knows your desires.
  
  Reply