Dr. Linda Mintle

Blog

  • Mom I’m Bored!

    Summer will soon be here. Get ready for, “Mom, I’m bored.” Try these 10 suggestions!

    Dr Linda Helps – “Mom, I’m bored. There is nothing to do around here!” Is there a parent reading this who has never heard these words, particular around the beginning of July when summer break is in full swing? With all the “stuff” kids have, it’s amazing how easily boredom sets in.

    Here are 10 suggestions to help keep your children from summer boredom:

    1) Turn off the TV, computer and other electronic forms of entertainment. Limit use to minimal times in the day. Electronic “stuff” teaches kids to attend for short intervals, encourages passive activity and doesn’t stimulate cognitive development. Children and teens who spend much of their day in front of television and movies are less imaginative and have more difficulty delaying gratification. Many are overweight. While electronic “stuff” occupies time, it doesn’t provide much benefit. Kids need to be active, thinking and interacting with real people.

    2) Enroll your child in day camps or park and recreation activities. Many cities have organized opportunities for children. For example, my son will attend a one week, half day, Slime Camp in August. It’s basically a chemistry camp in which science becomes fun. He’ll get to blow up things and make gooey disgusting things, while making a mess somewhere other than my house! By August, he’ll be ready for the structured fun. Think ahead and look for interesting planned activities.

    3) Find a fun class like cooking, sculpting, tap dancing, pottery making, etc. Summer is a good time to experiment with an area of interest. Your child can try something new and decide if he/she likes it. This is a good way to get your child to think about hobbies, special interests and new activities. Sometimes the classes will be offered for parents and children together, e.g., bird watching, cooking, sailing, etc.

    4) Buy a pass to a community pool. This was the best investment of money I ever made. Swimming is active, fun and interactive. It’s also a great way to beat summer heat!

    5) Get involved in the public library with a summer reading program. You will reinforce reading skills, explore books and relax in an air-conditioned room.

    6) Explore your city. Check out the museums, points of interest, fun stores, etc. For example, Chicago offers free admission to museums on specific days of the week. Find parks, skateboard parks, nature walks, etc. Get out and explore your community.

    7) Volunteer for civic organizations or church activities as helpers, workers or whatever is needed. Do a park clean-up day, a walk to fight cancer, teach at vacation bible school and take the kids, plant flowers at the church, etc.

    8) Get kids a part time job. They can baby-sit, mow lawns, deliver papers, offer to do errands for an elderly person, etc.

    9) Help your child develop a hobby like bird watching, card collecting and marbles. Have your child organize groups around those activities.

    10) Encourage creative play around the house. Have bountiful art supplies, water games, board games, cards and put on dramatic plays. Be prepared for rainy days.

    Summer doesn’t have to be boring. It can be rewarding and fun if you spend time planning for those days. Make summer a memorable experience and not just 90 days before school starts again.

  • Do Your Homework on Teens and Tattoos and Piercing

    What you should know before your teen tattoos or pierces.

    Dr Linda Helps – Recently, I read a newsletter from a leading children’s hospital in which a pediatrician passed along some helpful information to parents concerning teen tattoos and piercing. Here is a summary of Dr. Bolduc’s remarks. He practices with Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters Medical Group in Newport News, Virginia.

    My intention here is to help parents who may be dealing with a teen who wants to tattoo or body pierce or who has recently done either. Parents and teens need to be informed. I am not endorsing these procedures but want you to know what’s involved.

    · Tattoos can put your child at risk for contracting diseases such as HIV, hepatitis and tuberculosis. Risk is decreased if the shop is clean, safe and professional.

    · Tattoos can bring on skin infections such as impetigo, dermatitis and possibly an allergic reaction to the tattoo pigment.

    · Risks associated with piercing involve: chronic infections, prolonged bleeding, scarring, hepatitis B and C, tetanus, HIV, skin allergies, abscesses or boils, irreversible holes, chipped or broken teeth, choking and speech impediment.

    · Piercing a tongue can breed bacteria.

    · Eyebrow skin is extremely sensitive and thin.

    · Cartilage at the end of the nose can wither away because blood can’t get to it properly when the nose is pierced.

    · Ear lobes are usually OK to pierce because medically they are made of fatty tissue that allows for good blood supply after the piercing. This helps ward off infections.

    · Piercing places should use an autoclave to clean needles and instruments.

    · Shops should use single service equipment–all needles and tubes are individually packaged, dated, sealed and autoclaved.

    · The person who tattoos should use guidelines created by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration for the handling of body fluids.

    · The person doing the tattoo or piercing should wear gloves.

    · Don’t pick or tug on the area of piercing or tattoo. Clean with soap not alcohol.

    · Tattoos are sensitive to sun and need sunscreen protection of SPF 30 to protect.

    · A new tattoo needs to be dressed like an open wound with antibiotic cream for several days.

  • Teens and Inhalants

    An interview with Dr. Linda on teens and inhalants

    1. YEARS AGO PEOPLE USED TO JOKE ABOUT KIDS SNIFFING GLUE. HOW BIG A PROBLEM IS HUFFING? “Huffing”, also know as “Sniffing” or “Wanging” is now fourth among all forms of substance abuse by teens. According to national survey, more than 12.5 million Americans have abused inhalants at least once in their lives.

    2. WHY ARE KIDS DOING IT? It’s cheap. It’s intense. And it’s easy to hide. For example, a teen can paint her fingernails with typewriter correction fluid and no one would notice her sniffing away in school. Kids don’t have to go to the corner and score drugs, deal with needles or other paraphernalia. The high comes as quickly as 10 or 15 seconds. The problem is this is a dangerous high. Huffing aerosols, solvents, petroleum products or gases comes at a huge price teens don’t consider. The intoxicating effects that come may last for a few minutes or hours but can actually lead to a loss of consciousness and other serious side effects that include sudden death.

    3. HOW YOUNG ARE THE KIDS WHO ARE DOING INHALANTS? It’s frightening when you look at the facts that report some children as young as four years old are huffing. For many kids, huffing begins in elementary school or junior high. One researcher places seventh and eighth graders as the most common age of abuse. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) reports approximately one in five eighth-graders have abused inhalants. The abuse occurs mostly after dinner between 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. Another national survey by the institute found that three percent of American kids have tried inhalants “by the time they reach fourth grade.”

    4. WHAT KIND OF THINGS ARE THEY USING? Air freshener, white out pens, glues, rubber cement, nail polish remover, lighter fluid, spray paints, deodorant, hair sprays, whipped cream canisters, cleaning fluids, cooking spray, oven cleaner, felt-tipped pens, typewriter correction fluid, disinfectants, fabric protectors, furniture polish, oven cleaners, butane, gasoline, adhesives, rust removers, and spray paints.

    5. WHAT WARNING SIGNS SHOULD PARENTS LOOK FOR? First there is a high followed by dizziness which can lead to passing out and possible death. So let me break it down to short term and long terms effects:

    Short-term effects: Headaches, nausea, vomiting, loss of balance, dizziness, slurred and slow speech, mood changes, and hallucinations.

    Long term effects: Loss of concentration, short-term memory loss, hearing loss, muscle spasms, permanent brain damage, and even death (can occur when a child becomes panicked and the adrenaline rises in his body).

    Other warning signs: Unusual chemical breath odors, watery eyes, dazed or dizzy appearance, paint on the face and fingers, red or runny nose, spots or sores around the mouth, loss of appetite, anxiety, excitability, and irritability, chronic cough, sudden change in mood and behavior, secretive behavior

    6. WHAT KIND OF PHYSICAL DAMAGE HAPPENS WITH INHALANTS? The damage can be severe. Anything from heart to brain to liver damage can result. The most serious of course if heart failure and death. You see the inhaling of the poison displaces oxygen in the lungs and also in the central nervous system. Breathing then ceases. When there is a high concentration of the fumes, death can be a result.

    7. DO KIDS REALIZE HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS? DO PARENTS? I believe most people are unfamiliar with how dangerous and prevalent this type of abuse is. And of course teens never think that they could be the one to die from doing this even one time, but it happens. You just don’t know. Every time you do it, you are taking an incredible risk with your physical body. And each time, there is some level of brain damage that occurs. Parents, talk to your children about this. They are inhaling poisons that can create memory loss and eventually put them in a vegetative state. This is nothing to experiment with since the consequences are so damaging.

    8. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU THINK YOUR TEEN IS USING INHALANTS? Talk to them about the dangers and risks, especially since death and brain damage can happen anytime. Monitor their behavior and remove the poisonous substances form their usage. When talking to young children, labels these inhalants as poisons.

    WHERE DO YOU GO FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP? Contact a mental health professional. An addiction specialist can help you and your teen not only stop the behavior but get to the underlying reasons for doing it in the first place.

  • Teens and Wall Hangings

    Question: Do I have the right to tell my teen to take pictures off his wall?

    Dr Linda Helps – My 15-year-old son likes sexy pictures of half naked girls on his walls. His current girlfriend thinks these pictures are “hot” and has even given him a few. His dad and I find these pictures offensive and not appropriate on the walls of a Christian home. We know these images can’t be helping him deal with sexual temptation. He says we are overreacting and that we don’t have a right to judge. What do you think?

    Dr. Linda: I’m surprised that you even have to ask me this question given the fact that you already know the answer. If they are offensive and will cause sexual temptation, tell him to take them down and explain why. You are his parents and in charge of his moral training. Depicting women as sexual objects to be physically desired is neither honorable to women nor appropriate for a Christian teen. The fact that his girlfriend encourages this says something about her lack of moral standard, self-esteem and own view of women.

    Why is it that so many good Christian parents like you are afraid to take a stand with teens? You say you are afraid of telling him no and inciting rebellion when in reality, rebellion usually comes from lack of moral grounding and meaningful teaching in the home. Don’t just yell at him and tell him to take the pictures down. Explain what you know and believe—these pictures will not help him control sexual temptation (dad could have a lot to say here as a male) and that this is not a healthy way to depict women no matter what the culture and his girlfriend say. Women are not sexual objects to be adored and glorified.

    As far as your right to judge, his view is incorrect. You have every right to judge what comes in and out of your household. Can he go behind your back and see things elsewhere? Yes. But if you keep your relationship with him strong, discuss why things are problematic and teach from a moral and spiritual position, he will listen.

    Teens today live in a secularized culture and are repeatedly exposed to sex and violence. All the more reason you have to help teens sort out what is appropriate and inappropriate. They are teens. Not adults. They think they know things when they don’t. The key is to help them understand how exposure to certain things affects their spiritual life and moral decisions.

    Don’t be afraid to raise up a standard in your home. There are moral absolutes that must be taught no matter what the culture says.

    Your son is pushing the envelope. He needs limits and direction. He also needs parents who are loving but firm about appropriate behavior. Ask him to tell you how these pictures are helping his spiritual life, edifying women and helping him resist temptation. Most likely, he’ll come to the same conclusions as you.

  • What to Look for in a Spouse

    What do I look for when choosing a spouse? Romance, similar values, opposite personality?

    Dr Linda Helps – Dr. Linda: Among the many things to consider, start with these basics.

    In America, we marry someone we love and have compatibility. Romantic love, as we know it, has three dimensions–commitment, intimacy and passion (Sternberg, 1986). Commitment involves the willingness of the self to give to the other and be faithful to the relationship. Christians should look for more than commitment because holy marriage is based on covenant. Covenant is an unbreakable promise made to another for life. Find a potential partner who believes in covenant.

    Intimacy refers to the ability to connect emotionally and in friendship with another. Does your partner show evidence of this capacity? Intimacy should progressively grow in a relationship. That intimacy should be spiritual, emotional, psychological and behavioral. If you see signs of intimacy problems, get help or break off the relationship.

    Passion relates to attraction and sexual response. You should feel attracted to the person you marry. Attraction grows as you come to appreciate the other for more than just their appearance. Sexual passion is desired as well. But because you are to exercise self-control in sexual exploration, you might wonder about passion. If you have attraction going, and other parts of the relationship are strong, there should be no trouble with sexual passion when the right moment presents.

    Before a couple marries, an equal amount of these three dimensions should be present. Pay attention to these areas. If they are missing or problematic, rethink the relationship or start couple counseling.

    Similar backgrounds in terms of class, education, occupation, age, race, politics, religion, etc., attract. This doesn’t mean that every dimension of your life must be the same as your partner’s- -that’s called boring or maybe cloning! It does mean that the more similar you are on the big issues of life, the less conflict and stress you will face.

    For example, you might marry someone of another ethnic group. You may have a great relationship but you will face the prejudices of others. This puts stress on the relationship. Couples vary in their abilities to handle stress and differences. Be aware that the less similar you are, the more potential there is for conflict. Conflict isn’t a relationship killer. How you handle conflict and cope with conflict is key.

    Occasionally, opposites do find each other but studies show that opposite attraction is usually related to personality factors not values. Overall, we tend to look for someone similar to us in values and who has qualities we desire — attractive, similar interests, humorous, empathetic, adaptable, flexible, can communicate, can delay gratification, has a good self-image, etc.

    While you may think finding the above is a dream list and that no such person exists, it’s important to look for these things prior to marriage. If you do, you’ll begin marriage on a much happier note.